Just the facts:

Born: 1929

Place: Bulgaria

Musical Style: Urban Polka with an edge.

Influences: Dean Martin, Kate Smith, Johnathan Richmond, Deborah Gibson

Appropriate Venues: Mental Health Facilities, Walmart Openings, Auto Shows.

Endorsed by: No One.

Television appearances: MTV's Jackass. (I was an extra)

Recent Tour Dates: Piscataway, Hohokus, Lodi, Weehawken.

Radio Airplay: "Incontinent Cheerleaders" Number 3 hit on WPLJ.

Turnoffs: Work, People, Relationships, Life.

Turnons: Limited intelligence, a nice smile, personal wealth. (Britney Spears)