Kurt: I see you've been doing pretty well these days, with your 'Best Of' CD, which has stayed in the top 10 for 24 weeks and sold over twelve billion records worldwide.

Jim: It's been doing pretty good.

Kurt: Thanks for taking time from your schedule to talk to me.

Jim: I almost didn't do it after Jan Wenner's hate filled diatribe against Bradley Delp in my last Rolling Stone interview.

Kurt: I wouldn't exactly call it a diatribe. He was just surpised you choose Brad Delp as an influence.

Jim: That's Bradley Delp to you.

Kurt: Okay. But do you really think Bradley Delp was a significant part of rock music? He's generally considered a lightweight, both professionally and mentally.

Jim: Okay. But let's say, for the sake of an argument, that you're a flaming asshole.

Kurt: I'm not a flaming asshole.

Jim: But let's say, for the sake of an argument, that you are.

Kurt: That wouldn't even be an argument. It would be an ad hominem attack.

Jim: Okay, then lets say, for the sake of an argument, that you're an ignorant cat fucker.

Kurt: I really don't see where this is going. Or what it has to do with Brad Delp. I've been covering musicians for over 20 years and have never met a more obnoxious artist.

Jim: Now you're making an appeal to authority. Why should I care how long you're been doing this? What does that have to do with you having sex with cats?

Kurt: I've never had sex with a cat in my life.

Jim: I'm sorry, Kurt, but you have no crediblity with me. I could tell by the way you were petting Fluffy when you sat down, you want her. You can't deny it.

Kurt: I pet cats all the time. Just because I like cats doesn't mean I have sex with them.

Jim: But you admit you want to?

Kurt: I admit nothing of the kind. But we're getting off the subject. I came here to talk about music. I don't see why it has to descend into personal attacks.

Jim: For the sake of an argument.

Kurt: Well I don't think it's very constructive. The same thing happened to Jan, when he was just trying to talk about your influences.

Jim: Fine, if you're going to play that game. What do you want to know.

Kurt: You listed Brad and Sib as influences, but what about songwriters? Who do you consider the best songwriters today?

Jim: Andrew WK.

Kurt: You're serious.

Jim: Yes.

Kurt: 'Let's get a party started let's get a party started, lets get a party started, party hard, party hard?'

Jim: Sublime, isn't it?

Kurt: I would think you would be influenced by something a little more cerebral, like Tom Waits or Lou Reed.

Jim: What would give you that impression?

Kurt: I don't know.

Jim: You don't know much, do you?

Kurt: I know this is a difficult interview.

Jim: Well, if you wouldn't keep evading the question.

Kurt: What question?

Jim: About having sex with cats.

Kurt: I've never had sex with cats.

Jim: Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery, Kurt.

Kurt: You need serious help. I can't continue in this manner. It's totally unprofessional.

Jim: I didn't think you were that bad.

Kurt: I was talking about YOU!

Jim: Cat fucker.